INT: A college apartment, with two guys, one sitting on the couch. One is wearing green socks and looking at himself in a mirror. There is a Couch, Tv, Table, Etc…

Jason

Are you sure this looks okay?

Brian

To be honest, I don’t really like the socks.

Jason

The socks? That’s such a weird thing to not like?

Brian

Dude, they’re green.

Jason

Yeah, but like, they’re socks who cares.

Brian

You asked what I thought, I told you, I don’t like the socks.

Jason

I didn’t ask what you thought, I asked if it looked okay.

` Brian

Okay, well yeah it looks okay.

Jason

Hold on, what do you mean it looks okay, that’s such a broad thing to say, “it looks okay.” Other than the socks, does everything look alright.

Brian

Yeah, you look great. She’s gonna fall in love with you instantly from the ankles up.

ENT: Shane in a rush, changing his clothes, clearly not paying attention to Brian or Jason.

Jason

Shane, does this look okay?

Shane

Yeah, I don’t like the socks though.

Jason

Oh my God, I’m changing my socks.

Brian

Bout time.

Jason

(changes socks, green socks still on stage)

Do these socks look better or worse?

Brian

(sarcastically) Dude they’re white c’mon… yeah, I’m kidding they look fine.

Jason

There you go again, “fine.” No, fuck it, I’m not changing anymore.

Shane

Bro, no girl in the history of girls has ever not liked someone because of their socks, you’re being an idiot.

JASON

Yeah, you’re probably right. What time do you guys wanna leave?

Brian

Well I still have to shower and get ready

Jason

DUDE, you haven’t showered yet?!

Brian

When did you see me shower? Do I look like I’m ready to go?

Jason

The whole time you were yelling at me about my socks you could have been in the shower. She said come over at nine.

Brian

Okay, ill shower now and we’ll be there at 9:30

Shane

(Fake Laughing) “9:30” more like 10, you take the longest showers

Ext: Brian

Jason

Dude I’m leaving without you, just hurry up. Shane what do you wanna do while he’s in the shower for 10 years?

Shane

We’ll if he’s just now getting in the shower lets go get food

Off stage; shower water turns on

Jason

I already ate, hurry up though

Shane

Alright I’ll be back in a minute

Shane exits

Jason

I can’t believe you haven’t gotten a shower yet that’s actually so annoying

Brian (off stage, in the shower)

I’m in the shower right now can you chill, nobody is gonna get there until like 11 anyway

Jason

Yeah but that’s when everyone is gonna get there, she told me, for us, to come at nine. So, we should go at nine.

Ent: Shane with food, begins to eat.

Brian (Off Stage)

Yeah but what are we gonna do at nine, sit there and watch her and her roommates get ready? It’s her 21st not a watch party for “The Bachelor”.

Jason

Bachelor starts at 10, can you hurry up.

Brian (off stage)

We’ll it’s kinda hard to focus on showering when I’ve got you in my ear talking about doing this girl’s nails and shit.

Jason

Alright now you’re just being dumb, hurry up

Jason

What’d you get to eat?

Shane

Chipotle.

Jason

You didn’t get guac?

Shane

Guac cost extra. Is he still in the shower? (to Brian) dude I literally went to chipotle, ordered and came back and you’re still in the shower, what do you do in there?

Brian (off stage)

Did you get guac?

Shane

I hate you.

Jason

Dude I don’t know if we should go.

Shane

(Sarcastically)Shut up.

Jason

No maybe he’s right, what if she invited me over at nine because we’re just friends?

Shane

Why, what, what do you mean?

Jason

I don’t know, girls are weird, maybe if I’m there early with her and all of her friends it would seem, I don’t know too friendy.

Brian (off stage)

Dude that’s why I’m saying we should go at 10:15.

Jason and Shane

DUDE HURRY UP!

Jason

He’s actually never said we should go at 10:15. Nobody has ever has gone anywhere at 10:15. That’s just a bizarre middle time, it’s not late, it’s not early what is it?

Shane

Uhh, On time maybe.

Jason

Yeah were not going at 10:15.

Shane

Bro I might not even go.

Jason

What do you mean you might not even go?!

Shane

Yeah dude I don’t really feel good, plus I don’t even know her that well.

Jason

Dude you have to go. (to Brian, still off stage) Shane said he might not even go.

Brian (Off Stage)

What do you mean you might not even go?!

Jason

Said he doesn’t feel well.

Shower water turns off

Ent: Brian in a towel

Brian

Dude we’re going.

Shane

You aren’t even dressed yet and its already 9.

Jason

It’s fine, we can get there at 10, it’s like a perfect middle point.

Brian

I like that idea.

Shane

I hate both of you.

Brian

So, what’s the plan?

Shane

The plan? You just get dressed. We’re leaving as soon as you get ready. Jason, you stop, just, just, stop being you.

Brian

What should I wear?

Shane

I’m done with this conversation.

Jason

Why don’t you just…

(Brian walks over to green socks)

Brian

Well, what are you doing with these? (points at the socks)

Jason

You wanna wear my green socks, I don’t know dude, they’re kinda my thing.

Shane

Oh my god why are we still talking about the green socks, why do you even own green socks?

Jason

It’s important to have a diverse sock portfolio, Ya know.

Shane

Yeah, I’m definitely not going now.

Brian

Wait, really?

Shane

Dude you two are the worst people on earth, you’ve been arguing over socks and “The Bachelor” for the past hour. I don’t wanna be anywhere with the two of you, let alone a social environment of any kind.

Jason

We literally talked about “The Bachelor” one time, and the socks thing was his fault.

Brian

I haven’t even seen the show.

Shane

WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT “THE BACHELOR”?

Jason

It’s actually a pretty cool show.

Shane

Please tell me how “The Bachelor” is a “pretty cool show” … please.

Brian

Isn’t it just a bunch of really pretty girls all fighting over the same guy? I could get behind that.

Jason

Yeah, I’ve only seen a little bit of it, but I’m pretty sure they all live in the same house.

Brian

Wait that could be cool, they probably get in fights and stuff.

Jason

Yeah, it’s pretty entertaining all together, my mom loves it.

Brian

What time is it?

Shane

9:50

Brian

Think we could watch an episode before we leave and then just get there at eleven? What are they, 40, 45 minutes?

Jason

Yeah, I mean at this point we’ll be late anyway, plus maybe me and her can talk bachelor tonight.

Shane

Well, this is the weirdest pregame idea you two have ever had, but for some reason I don’t hate it.

Jason

Wait, are we really about to watch the bachelor?

(they all sit on the couch, turn on the television, Brian still in towel)

Brian

Oh yeah, we’ve committed at this point.

Shane

Can you put some clothes on dude?

Woman’s voice on television

I really just can’t believe Caitlyn would steal my green socks.

the end

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